So, I figure the best way to fix myself after much trauma and various abuses is to retrain the brain...retraining the brain is a very difficult and exausting thing to attempt to do but, unless one genuinely attempts to do so...they may never find a happier medium within themselves...
Hi, I have been attending various support and healing groups to help me retrain my brain so that I can learn to be ok with being by myself(unfortunately I believed I had to have a man in my life to be worth anything in this life) and stay out of domestic violence relationships...See, I grew up in a home where my father...a pastor(yeah that didnt stop him at all) abused my mom and us kids...back then things were more hush hush and what happened behind closed doors stayed behind closed doors(besides that when I was a teenager and my mom finally tried to tell a trusted friend they turned on her and didnt believe her)...slowly we are opening those closed doors in todays society but, much of the time it is still the same...besides that abusers are always 10 steps ahead of you no matter how ignorant they may seem...they can smooth talk their way out of anything...even murder...yes, murder...my father MURDERED my baby sister while she was still in the womb...my mom was too scared and traumatized to do anything went into denial and eventually completely blocked it out and to this day just says she was stillborn even while ALL of her children around at the time know it was MURDER...Sadly trauma can do many things...K So, getting back on track I just wanted other people out there who are starting over after domestic violence relationships, and various abuse and others even years after traumas like that that have suffered because of it...that there is a way to heal and find a happier medium...and remind you that the damage didnt happen over night so it isnt healed overnight...It does get better over time as you work on dealing with the issues...which you may not even realize that you have until you get help specifically designed for abuse survivors...this applies to all survivors of all types and forms of abuse as well...It really used to irritate me when people wold say "Deal with it" never telling or explaining to me how...I have found that it means talking about the past emptying out the hurt in the wound and cleaning it out as often as necesary to get it healed by talking about it in an enviornment where others will listen, support and mostly understand you bc they too have faced similar situations in their lives and can be compassionate and caring when alot of the world places the blame on you, the victim...saying things like " Well, Its her fault ...she stayed", "It was her choice", "She must like it" ...It wasnt her fault that HE CHOSE to hurt her and make her terrified to leave....She didnt choose to be abused...She doesnt/didnt like it!.....BOTTOM LINE We can learn to retrain our brain and in time heal...I have been working on my healing (intensely) for about 2 1/2 years and I have learned a great deal, healed a great deal and am happy being without my abusers...my children are happier and life is not easy but, atleast its better and we dont have to live in constant fear of our lives anymore....You CAN heal (to the best of your ability) it just takes time and determination.
